Since man could machine willow and stich leather, we have played cricket. However, this invention has been widly considered a bad one, and has made many people angry. Myself included - hence match report duties (Sorry Ben)

Elevated by a distinct absence of geese... 'evidence', the 5s were in the ascendancy (despte Sharans best efforts via the most depressing pre match analysis I've ever heard) yet Ben rode the wave to win yet another toss. Bowl first? don't be silly.

Mark and Sej, for their sins, opened. Within a few balls it became evident why the opposition were also chasing promotion. A strong seam attack made trickier by a pitch that had more mines the South East Ukraine.

Mark copped a good one early doors bringing the skip to the crease. Ben got the blood going after seeing off the opening pair and a few 4s to boot. However this buoyancy proved his downful after deciding he was going to the put the first change to the sword - by crisply timing his first delivery to mid wicket. [24-2 after 10]

In came Nick, or shall I say Nicolas Walker (2) - thanks play cricket. Sej and Nic diligently nurdled it at around with some 4s past mid on. However it wasn't to be for Sej who bowled by a dying delivery.

Bringing in Fozan 'I got the wrong Bus/I missed the bus/never use me as a witness in court' Ahmad onto the strip. Its a good thing we didn't take Ben's outburst at his lateness too seriously as I quote... "right hes going in at 11, ideally 12". Fozan and Nic rebuilt like they were curating the Cathedral Of Notre Dame. Forzan on three occasions sent the cherry over the rope to bring up an excellent 50, Nic - not buying into any of this T20 nonsense, added some arguably spiritual 4s through the offside and around their cumbersome fine leg. Their valiance taking us into triple digits despite not running a 2, and only about 3 1s.

The next five overs I can only describe as calamitous. A break in play caused by salmon like a catching atempt by their slip, and return of the opening bowlers, sadly did for Nic who got a deserved 30...
then Sharan, then a suicidal Fozan who galloped from the non strikers to get run out some 21 yards from home (ending a great knock for 56), then Sharang, then Dev, then Angus, then Alex. As the great Churchill once said... "Whoopsie Daisies". All out for 150.

Name of the game... Wickets! Luckily, the giraffe like action of Angus took their leftie out 2nd ball of the innings with a ball that seamed both in and out whilst conventionally and reverse swinging (straight one hoiked to square leg). Bowling is all about partnerships, and Sharan competently deleted the bail of the no.3. First 6 overs, 3-2.... what's that smell? The oaky smoke from the fire of belief my friends.

Their no.4 had other ideas, adding 34 from 24 balls and plenty of water on our fire. But Fezaan had other ideas, somehow bowling a bouncer from a yorker length that had the ball tickling a discombobulated glove to Mark at keeper. Petrol was back on the fire [45-3].

When the screw needs turning, Sharang is your man, bowling their number 2 through the gate (agriculturally ending on 7 off 41), then 4 balls later spearing the pads of the no. 6. The flames began to roar [45-5]

Their no.7 and no. 5, had other ideas. Despite some tidy line and length from Alex and a few good LBW shouts, and a top draw opening 5 overs from Sej, they snuffled our belief out adding 30 in as many balls.

But in the background, Skip was furiously calculating fields to dry them up and add pressure - and the work paid dividends. A visibly frustrated no.5 spooned a drive to Angus at mid off - giving Sej a thoroughly deserved wicket. We found some embers to fan in the ashes.

But the no.7 was the prize. As Sej plugged away tirelessly, The Swing from Stirling a.k.a. Dev, clean bowled their no.8 and inserted some bellows into the embers [85-7]. But the no. 7 remained and decided to kick on.

However, cherry's were reeled in from the rope on several occasions by a tireless [insert all names here] and Ben's further tinkering provided the kindling we needed. The required RR climbed, and the resolute Sej bagged a clean bowled of the no. 9... 94-8 nearly home, someone get the oven mitts.

As is cricket, some sandbagging had been employed - tut tut. Their no.9 murdering some cut shots to race to 16, but fine fielding produced a replication of earlier - spooning an impatient cover drive to mid on to be gobbled by dev, via the excellent darts of Fezaan 2nd spell. [123-9],

The new bat had a 45 minute chat with the no.7 in the middle along the lines of "see off the over, back a single, get me on strike"... well Fezaan doesn't like to be kept waiting. Propelled by the explosion of Roes belief in the last 12 balls, he promptly removed the no.11 second ball, [125 all out]. Someone call the fire brigade!

The win leaves the 5s in 3rd place, ticking the bellies of first and second... whisper it gently... "promotion?"

** "if you don't talk about keepers, they're doing their job", big kudos to Mark boag for handling some serious leg side dross and saving easily 20+ runs